(no subject)

I'm disappointed. I just had a not-so-good evening. It wasn't what I did, I just felt bad. I'm late for another payment on a college loan, and I haven't gotten any mail for the past few weeks and I'm scared that my roommates are hiding it or something stupid like that. Why would I not get any mail? I am expecting things from my dad and from the loan people...

I feel like I'm failing here. I have a pretty much dead-end job, I have no car, I have almost no money, I didn't go to work yesterday because I thought I had it off but I didn't so now I'm sure they hate me there, I have the roommates from hell, and I'm totally not going anywhere. Why don't I get off my stupid behind and start taking initiative? There are so many things I could be doing, but I'm not doing them. Why is that? I feel scatterbrained and irresponsible.